What I do

I’ll help you work out what's most impactful to focus on right now. Then we’ll work on implementing it.

You can bring the situation you’re in, even if you haven’t worked out what the real problem is yet.Maybe you want to get over someone, but you keep making their needs more important than yours. Maybe you want a new role, but your time goes into helping everyone else.We’ll look at what keeps happening and choose a specific place to start. I'll help you find what’s actually in your way, holding you back, then we build the structure that makes you act on it and build the muscles of serving your own interest.You’ll practise making decisions that serve you.

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Testimonials

Amy, Master's Student living in Luxembourg

Amy: My situation was quite complicated right before joining the program. I came from Vietnam to Europe alone as a Master's student - a first-generation immigrant from an unhappy family, and I struggled to communicate healthily with my mother. At that time, I had just quit a part-time job that had completely drained my health, and I was also only one month out of a breakup. Through deep self-observation and reading various resources, I realized I had an anxious attachment style. I acted on impulse and experienced a lot of insecurity in that relationship and also in daily life.At the time, my main goal was simply to move on from my ex as quickly as possible. Anxiety hit every night, and I couldn't stop holding onto hope. Even though I had read your dating guide, re-analyzed the relationship, and realized my ex wasn't the right person for me, my mind and heart were not aligned. However, I knew that reading and analyzing alone would never be enough, I had to take action and do something different instead of just thinking and analyzing. That was when I found the program that matched my needs.After reviewing my situation, Ellen, you helped me identify the root cause I needed to address right away, which could also transform other areas of my life like dating, job searching, and family communication: focusing on my needs, being honest with them, and taking action to serve them. You didn't just guide us step-by-step each week and review/support my workbook entries, but you also answered my long emails in a detailed and caring way. You were always present for us, sending email and message reminders like calendar appointments. Of course, I also put in a lot of effort because I truly wanted to change. I committed to myself, did the exercises every week, treated journaling as an essential habit, and paid uncomfortable costs to achieve the changes I desired. It wasn't easy at all! Sometimes I procrastinated when tough challenges arose, but I bounced back quickly thanks to my willpower.

Amy's results

Dating and moving on from my past relationship

It’s made a huge difference. I deleted my ex's contact info and resisted the urge to check his profile. I've been taking a dating break for 2 months. I can clearly write down and state my relationship standards. WhatsApp notifications no longer trigger anxiety or make my chest feel heavy because I paid the cost of giving up hope. Even when painful memories surface, I know how to sit with them and use my own parent voice to comfort myself.

Amy's results

Family issues and setting healthy boundaries

I feel lighter than ever. For the first time in over 10 years, I expressed how I felt to my mother, no matter the cost, even through extremely difficult conversations.

Amy's results

Finding a new job

It's still a work in progress. But I feel much more confident in myself and had my first interview after 1 month of job hunting. I’ve also recently landed another interview through a referral. It’s actually the result of the Week 4 exercise I completed a while back.

Amy's results

Overall

Now I always pause to listen to my own needs, and I can confidently communicate what I need to others. I caught myself 3 times whenever negative thoughts arose and journaled about it. Even my writing style changed - from telling stories about what others did to me, to focusing on "I", what I feel, what I need, and what I want.

Amy's results

It's a forcing system where I commit to paying a price to change the things I've hesitated for a long time.

About myself: I noticed a distinct change in my daily behavior once I started acting based on my needs. Even in other relationships, I always pause, take a breath, and make sure I truly want what I'm about to say. I practice this more in every small moment throughout the day.About the program: I was surprised by your dedication, Ellen. You gave me all the resources I needed to address my problems and move forward. You gave so much, and always made me feel listened, encouraged, and understood.I would recommend this program to people who have a clear understanding of themselves and their problems, who know that their results depend on taking proactive action, but still hesitate to change, feel stuck in procrastination, and need more self-trust.It wouldn't suit those who lack commitment, dislike journaling in their own words, expect the coach to do everything for them, or are too busy (unable to dedicate 2-3 hours a week to exercises).

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An important part of the experience

was the group support. We had group calls at the beginning, midway through the programme, and at the end, which gave us the opportunity to reflect together, share our experiences, and learn from one another. We could share our successes and celebrate them together, but also be open about the moments we found most challenging. Having that sense of community, together with Ellen’s ongoing support and guidance, made the whole experience feel very supportive and motivating. It was reassuring to know that we were going through the process together and that we could turn to each other for encouragement along the way.

What really sets the programme apart

is Ellen’s support and dedication throughout the entire journey. She was always responsive, took the time to provide thoughtful and detailed feedback, and offered emotional support, encouragement and guidance whenever it was needed.
For future participants, I think it is important to know that you will never feel like you are doing this alone. The level of personal support is exceptional, and having someone who is genuinely invested in your progress makes a real difference to the experience. So, if you are ready to invest in yourself and make meaningful change, I would absolutely recommend taking the step.

What surprised me most

was how deeply I was able to go into the process of change. I started with the intention of making some meaningful changes in my life, but I didn’t expect to explore my thoughts, behaviours, fears and limiting beliefs on such a deep level. The process helped me understand myself better and make changes that felt much more meaningful and lasting than I had initially expected.

What will happen

We’ll begin with your application, a personalised follow-up questionnaire so I can plan our 8 weeks together and a 1:1 call to go through it.Each week, you’ll put the framework into practice in your own life. I’ll read what you share, respond and help you work through what comes up. You’ll have someone who knows your situation to come back to throughout the eight weeks.

What you'll get

Your personalised plan, yours to keep.A first-week 1:1 and a final 1:1 with me.Weekly exercises, written feedback and ongoing email coaching.Kickoff, mid-way and closing group calls, plus a cohort WhatsApp group.Optional dating and career teaching calls, and continued connection through the alumni group and quarterly calls.

Your coach

Nice to meet you, I'm Ellen!

I work with women who understand themselves well but struggle to act on what they know.They’ve done therapy, read the books and spent years reflecting. They can explain their patterns, sometimes even while they’re repeating them. But they still second-guess decisions, put things off or make plans they struggle to keep. They know they’re capable of more, and they’re frustrated that all this understanding hasn’t changed how they live.Sometimes they know what they want but can’t seem to move towards it. Sometimes they have so much going on that they don’t know where to start. And it's not as simple as "just do it." What holds them back is deeper and older than that.I know that place well. I grew up in a broken home and came to the UK at 17, anxious and unsure of what I wanted. I learned to be tough on the outside to cope. I was good at understanding myself. I could explain my patterns and still repeat them. For a long time, I felt lost, full of shame and self-doubt. I didn’t know what was good or bad for me. The voice in my head said, “You’re a failure. You’re not enough. You’re not worthy.”In my mid-20s, I realised that no matter where I went or what I did, that voice came with me. I had to stop and pay attention to how I was treating myself. I learned the things I hadn’t been taught growing up: how to take my own needs seriously, support myself when I was struggling, and make decisions I could stand by. Those changes affected every part of my life.I worked through my anxious attachment, changed my dating approach completely, and built a life and marriage with an emotionally secure, successful husband who makes me feel deeply loved, cared for, and respected.I went from a low-paid assistant manager to a fast-track promotion at J.P. Morgan, and a six-figure Director role at Mastercard within four years of coming off the work visa. It allowed me to help pay off my family’s debts and free my mum from an abusive marriage, which I’m proud of and grateful for every day.Most recently, I got into the best shape of my life at 32, with a weekly gym training routine, which I didn’t think was possible for someone who grew up bed-rotting with unhealthy eating habits.I used the same repeatable steps each time, in my career, my relationships and my health. I changed how I spent my time, what I committed to and what I was willing to accept. That made it easier to follow through, even when I didn’t feel motivated.

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This is FOR YOU if

You can recognise your patterns, but still find yourself repeating them.You keep putting your own needs behind other people’s comfort or expectations.You’re at a turning point and want to choose what comes next with more intention.You want structure and support to follow through on a specific change.You’re willing to be honest about what isn’t working and try something different.You can make space for the exercises and actions, even if you do them imperfectly.

This is NOT for you if

You want to collect more advice without applying it.You want someone else to make your decisions for you.You’re looking for a guaranteed job, relationship or external result by a deadline.You’re not able to commit 1–2 hours per week to the work.You need therapy or clinical support as your primary form of help. This is a coaching programme.You don’t like written work.You genuinely have too much going on right now.